I wrote this novel during the course of 2010. The bit, titled in the novel itself as "Excerpts from The Vampire's Guide to an Ethical Life," seemed to work alone as a short story, so I excerpted it, published it, and present it here.
Here's a cute problem, though. I used a variant smiley face in the original story--a kind of diagrammatic cuteness. And in the published version with Trading Futures, it's been replaced by asterisks. (I don't think this was an editorial decision; their online devices apparently can't handle smiley faces. And apparently, they can't be handled by my online devices either: it's replaced them with question marks. Only looking at the downloaded file will give you the original symbolism.