Jody's Notes
Here again is the wordplay I'm always drawn to. (An aesthetic weakness, some might say, a weakness in my taste.) "Heaven knows ..."
But the poem wasn't built around that image. The image that drew me in, the one that I kept trying to see if I could manufacture a poem for was this: Glass screams as it dies, slivering out its teeth in search of flesh.
What's striking (to me) is how I worked to mute the violence in that image, turn it almost into a digression--not a digression exactly, but a choice by the character: here's how I want to think of death (my death). Not like that.
Glass screams when it dies,
slivering out its teeth in search of flesh.
I have looked for a softer route,
practiced the twilight walk to the cemetery
pipe in hand for warmth.
Later, safe at home,
I can watch the smoke
curl out of the warm bowl
almost alive,
and remember the ghosts
their brains still spongy with plans
but dead on their feet nevertheless.
I never see angels
(I guess that’s not an option)
and each night
(after I’ve hung up the garlic and crosses)
I pray I can settle for the simple charm
poltergeists have:
the easy rapport
with children
and toys.
Heaven knows I try to think
of other things: clouds, puddles, childhood.
But when I visit my old haunts
I can’t help wondering how long I could keep it up.
And when I see a puddle,
I search for the inchoate faces
that sometimes lurk there
and doubt there is much of a future
in any of this.
© 2002 Jody Azzouni